Yesterday Ubisoft officially revealed Watch Dogs 2 after a small breadcrumb trail of teases. The new game is set in San Francisco, a city filled with beautiful neighborhoods, interesting people, and millions of things to hack. Watch Dogs 2 moves far away from the brooding lone wolf protagonist Aiden Pearce from the first game and focuses on a new hero who bears a striking resemblance to yours truly.
The main character is a black male from California named Marcus. Coincidence? Not a chance. You may say, he looks nothing like you. Well that’s because he doesn’t have my hair. My hair is magnificent and it would’ve likely cost them millions of dollars to create technology advanced enough to render hair like mine in 60 frames per second. They still stole many other critical details from me, like my timeless style and unparalleled hacking ability.
It is obvious that someone (or someones) at Ubisoft is a huge fan of Top Shelf Gaming and more importantly, me. How could they not be? I’m disappointed in Ubisoft. They didn’t even ask if they could use my likeness for their game. I would’ve said yes, for a price. That doesn’t mean I’m not excited for the game. I seem to be one of the few who loved the first Watch Dogs. Watch Dogs 2 addresses many of the original’s complaints and adds a whole new layer of depth than I was expecting. Considering they based their main character off of me, I think I deserve a copy of the game for free.