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Sorting Warcraft into Hogwarts: Varian Wrynn

2016 is a monumental year for Harry Potter and World of Warcraft fans alike. In April, Universal Studios in California opened a Wizarding World of Harry Potter, and in December, Warner Bros will release Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, its latest addition to the Harry Potter franchise. Meanwhile, in June, WoW fans will be lining up to watch Warcraft directed by Duncan Jones, and in August, fans will be picking up their copy of WoW’s newest expansion, Legion.

And, lucky for you, I’m Deva, and I like to smush my favorite fandoms into deliciously nerdy articles, which brings us to my (drumroll, please) Sorting Warcraft into Hogwarts series! Because really, who hasn’t stroked her chin and asked herself, does the High Tinker of Gnomeregan belong in Gryffindor or Ravenclaw? Every Wednesday for the next few months, I will take on the role of Sorting Hat and sort Azeroth’s leaders of the Alliance and Horde into their Hogwarts Houses.

Today’s inaugural installation will be a little longer than most. In order to understand the qualities of the four houses of Hogwarts, we’ve got to take a closer look at them.

Sorting-Hat
Credit: Warner Bros

Excerpts from The Sorting Hat’s song (found in J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone):

You might belong in Gryffindor,
Where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve, and chivalry
Set Gryffindors apart;

Gryffindors are fighters – warriors, paladins, knights… (Onion knights, maybe? Game of Thrones fans, please stand up.) They fight for what they believe in and are the first line of defense. When it comes to confrontation, Gryffindors address situations directly. Like Slytherins, Gryffindors want to prove themselves and go down in the books as bold badasses.

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Credit: New Line Cinema

You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true
And unafraid of toil;

Hufflepuffs are hobbits who deeply care for those around them, just like hobbits love the Shire. Members of Hufflepuff are as loyal as the Starks of Winterfell. Like Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs avoid turmoil and danger when they can, but not at the cost of abandoning their loved ones. During the Battle of Hogwarts, nearly all of Hufflepuff stayed to fight, not out of duty, but out of love for their school, even if it meant dying.

Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
if you’ve a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind;

Ravenclaws are known as bookish and clever, but there is more to them than that. They think outside the box, and then take that box to extradimensional space, and then think outside it some more. Ravenclaws want to know the why of everything. They yearn for knowledge because they want to learn, unlike Slytherins who seek knowledge to gain power.

Or perhaps in Slytherin
You’ll make your real friends,
Those cunning folks use any means
To achieve their ends.

Slytherins aren’t always bad eggs, like Andromeda Tonks. Slytherins care about their reputation and are self-preserving, as well as protective of their community. Within their community, Slytherins build strong friendships. Like Gryffindors, they are ambitious. Slytherins are also known for their resourcefulness and shrewd nature.

Okay – enough for today’s Hogwart’s history lesson. Let’s sort our first leader of the Alliance, Varian Wrynn!

Varian_Wei
Credit: Blizzard Entertainment. Varian Wrynn.

“Light help me, I will fight for my kingdom and people.” – Varian Wrynn

Varian Wrynn has a lot in common with Harry Potter. Both led tragic lives worthy of a Shakespearean drama. Varian’s dad died, his wife died in a riot, and his childhood BFF, Arthas, went bat-crap crazy. As a born fighter, Varian helped Arthas hone his battle skills.  In a classic scenario of heroism, Varian was once captured by the Defias, escaped, and washed ashore Durotar, face to face with a crocolisk. What did Varian do? He beat that beast to death with only a stick. What was he doing whilst getting captured, pray tell? He was on his way to a peace summit like a boss. Varian also looks out for his people. After he was crowned King of Stormwind, Varian Wrynn gallantly marched across the Eastern Kingdoms to help the defenseless fight off orc raiding parties.

Lo'Gosh_TCG
Credit: Blizzard Entertainment. Lo’Gosh.

Varian wasn’t always a nice guy. He was ruthless during his time in the arena as the gladiator, Lo’Gosh. Fortunately, that was short lived. Unfortunately, even after Varian returned to Stormwind, the inner battle between Varian and Lo’Gosh continued. In time, Varian learned to tame his feral side.

The King of Stormwind wants to protect his people, and is willing to compromise to keep the peace. After Garrosh was arrested, Varian told the Horde that he’d give them one more chance at peace after selecting a new Warchief. He didn’t hesitate to tell the Horde that if they screwed up again like they did with Garrosh, that Varian wouldn’t hesitate to go Lo’Gosh on their asses. 

Varian Wrynn is…

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GRYFFINDOR!

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Varian is a Gryffindor through and through. He is a fearless fighter who will do whatever it takes to defend his home.

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Don’t agree with me? Think he’s more of a Slytherdor or a Gryffinclaw? Let us know in the comments! Come back next week for the next installment of Sorting Warcraft into Hogwarts – Tyrande Whisperwind!

Written by Deva M. Gregory

Deva is a fiction writer, actor, and honorary Krogan from the Pacific Northwest. Her favorite companies include Blizzard Entertainment and Bioware. She is still waiting for her Hogwarts letter, but will also settle for the Tardis landing in her front yard. You can read more about her at devamarie.com.

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