This Friday, Warcraft the movie heroically charges into theaters. In the movie, new fans will be introduced to the factions that old fans have loved for years – the Horde and the Alliance. In this series, I’m sorting leaders of the Horde and Alliance into Hogwarts Houses. We’ve got three more Alliance sortings left, and then it’s time for the Horde leaders to put on the sorting hat and see which house they can call home. Today, we’re going to sort one of the most famous gnomes in Azeroth – Gelbin Mekkatorque!
“A properly accelerated gnome in battle is a thing of terrible beauty.” – Gelbin Mekkatorque.
Gelbin Mekkatorque is many things – stylized “King of the Gnomes,” master builder, and bespectacled Dumbledore lookalike.
The inventor Gelbin Mekkatorque rose in ranks from humble maker to High Tinkerer of Gnomeregan. Through imaginative designs, Mekkatorque constructed the first mechanostrider, invented the repair bot and gyromatic micro-adjustor, helped found the Deeprun Tram, and aided the creation of the dwarven siege engine. Crafted to better serve gnomes, these creations became invaluable to all races of the Alliance in the Second War.
Mekkatorque led the gnomes to battle in the Second War, but was absent from the battlefield in the Third War. During this time, the Burning Legion invaded Azeroth, but another foe ravaged the gnome’s homeland – Troggs.
Not wanting to split the war efforts of the Alliance against the Burning Legion, Mekkatorque sought to rid Gnomeregan of the Troggs himself. He made a call to his best bud and fellow Gearshaft University graduate, Sicco Thermaplugg, asking for help. At the instruction of Thermaplugg, Mekkatorque released a toxic gas to eradicate the Troggs. To Mekkatorque’s surprise, the radiation enraged the Troggs rather than destroyed them. Even worse, the filters designed to keep the gas quarantined failed, and seeped into the homes unsuspecting gnomes. This disaster took a devastating toll on the gnomes, killing a vast majority of the population. In a desperate attempt to save what remained of his people, Mekkatorque ordered an evacuation.
Let’s pause for a moment. Remember how Dumbledore and fellow wizard Grindelwald were besties before Grindelwald went bat crap crazy? That’s pretty much what happened here too.
Desperate to be crowned High Tinker, Thermaplugg purposefully calculated the toxic gas to permeate beyond Gnomeregan’s quarantined quarters. His maniacal plan was to let the gas decimate the gnomes till their hope hung by a thread, whereby he would swoop in like a superhero and save them. When the truth of Thermaplugg’s plan unraveled, the mad gnome locked himself deep within the confines of Gnomeregan, now overrun by enraged Troggs.
In order to rebuild their lives, Mekkatorque constructed Tinker Town, a small outpost outside of Gnomeregan where the gnomes could reside until they could one day retake their true home.
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Ravenclaw is the home of inventors. Its house has produced the inventors of Floo Powder, love potions, the lunascope, as well as wandmaker extraordinaire, Mr. Ollivander. While it can be argued that Mekkatorque is a Slytherin, his cunning and resourcefulness aren’t used for self-advancement, and are instead, applied for the betterment of gnomes and Alliance alike. Mekkatorque’s quick wit, curiosity, and creativity earn him all the hallmarks of a true Ravenclaw.
Come on, you gnome you like sorting Warcraft into Hogwarts. We’ve got two Alliance leaders left to sort, and then we’re on with the Horde!