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A Crash Course in Nintendo Direct Announcements

Here at Top Shelf Gaming, we like to acknowledge the real heroes out there. We know our readers are probably busy curing cancer, ending poverty, putting a stop to organized crime, or any number of noble pursuits. We also assume that all these heroes are huge Nintendo fans, so instead of weighing you down with article after article about Nintendo Direct’s announcements made yesterday, here’s a quick summary of absolutely everything you need to know all in one place! Heck, I’ll even bold the important stuff for you, because at Top Shelf Gaming, we care about you. So here they are!

  1. Twilight Princess HD will be released on March 4, 2015 for the Wii U. There’s an Amiibo of Link and Midna and its coolness is newsworthy.

    “Honey, this one’s going on the mantle.”
  2. Tri-Force Heroes will be getting a bunch of new costumes and a new area called the “Den of Trials” that will be included in a free update on December 2nd. Time will only tell if it will be as arduous and frustrating as the Cave of Ordeals.
  3. Splatoon got a big ol’ update with over 40 new items and brand new maps. There are no reports regarding the much-asked for Nautilus Hat… yet.
  4. Super Mario Maker will have a website that allows players to create an account to gain access to and view their favorite player-created levels in the game this December. There will also be a mobile app so that you can look at cool levels and wish you were playing your Wii U on the go.
  5. Data packs for the upcoming Xenoblade Chronicles X that will help the game render the massive world more smoothly. In other words, Nintendo is pre-debugging the game so Xenoblade fans won’t have to wait more than one absolutely second to play on the day it comes out.
  6. Pokken Tournament, set to release next spring, will feature Shadow Mewtwo and a limited number of Amiibo Cards will be available to expedite the process. There are still rumors surrounding whether Dark Shadow Primal Omega Shiny Mega Arceus will be included, but they are yet unconfirmed.
  7. Pokemon Picross, a puzzle game that uses Pokemon elements in its gameplay, will release exclusively on the 3DS eShop this December. Speaking of pixelated Pokemon…
  8. Pokemon Red, Blue, and Yellow will be released on the 3DS eShop on February 27th, 2016, the day that Pokemon turns 30 years old. The games will be identical to their Game Boy counterparts except that they will not require long cables to play and trade with friends, nor an angler-fish style lamplight that enables to play under your covers after your mom tells you to go to bed. They might also contain Alpha Shadow Jurassic Mega-Mega-Mega Charizard.
  9. Star Fox Zero is to be released on April 22nd, 2016. The game will implement new elements such as the Landmaster’s ability to target three subjects at once and the sick-looking Gyrowing, unfortunately piloted by Slippy Toad in the trailer.
  10. Mario & Luigi: Paper Jam Bros. will launch on January 22nd, 2016. It will utilize elements of both the Mario & Luigi series as well as Paper Mario in its gameplay. There will be six Mario Amiibo that will give players in-game power-ups as well occasionally incite judgement from the player’s friends and significant other.
  11. Final Fantasy Explorers will include all the DLC for free at its launch in January.
  12. A Golden Mega Man Amiibo will be available upon the release of the Mega Man Legacy Collection for the 3DS and provide 11 additional challenge levels. And if you know Mega Man, you know that “challenge” levels don’t mess around.

    NOTE: Not actually made of gold but pretty cool regardless.
  13. Dragon Quest VII, the acclaimed PS1 game you have probably never heard of, will be released for the 3DS in Summer 2016. Yay?
  14. The Fire Emblem Fates Bundle will be available for $80 and include all three version of the game: Birthright, Conquest, and Revelation. DLC will also be available and include seven maps in which we can watch your favorite characters die forever. What fun!
  15. MOTHER 3 IS COMING TO VIRTUAL CONSOLE FOR THE WII U!! …in Japan. Dang it, Nintendo, you son of a-
  16. There’s a “special announcement” coming from Nintendo regarding Super Smash Bros. this December. In other words, Nintendo told its fan, “Hey, guys. In a month, we’re going to tell you something. Tee-hee!”

That’s all for now, you glorious, beautiful god(dess) of a citizen. Now that you have this information, go forth and make the world a better place in ways in which only you know how.

So what do you think about all of this hullabaloo? What are you most excited about? What do you find most underwhelming? Let us know in the comments section below! Unless you’re currently saving an orphan from a crumbling building about to fall off a cliff into a pit of molten lead. We can wait till later. But don’t forget to stop by Top Shelf Gaming for brand new articles every week!

Source: Nintendo Direct (Gamnesia)

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Written by Jesse Cupp

Jesse Cupp is a sophomore at Chapman University, double-majoring in Screenwriting and English. Outside of writing scripts and papers, he spends a great deal of time playing his PS3 and GameCube. He has a long and complicated relationship with Nintendo.

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